2 years ago today my heart literally shattered into a million little pieces that I have yet to completely put back together
2 years ago I felt I could cry forever
2 years ago I forced myself to put a smile on my face
2 years ago I wanted no one and so desperately needed Jesus, yet had so many questions and hurt feels, I did not admit it
2 years ago I could have gone for days without speaking or eating
2 years ago the room went still
2 years ago no heart beat
2 years ago miscarriage
but life doesn't stop for our pain, does it?
2 years ago when I felt alone, lost, scared, mad, sad, sick, bitter, resentful, and guilt...God had a plan to take all that emotion and plant a seed where I honestly did not want anything to grow...
I have an incredibly strong and insanely beautiful friend who says:
"Beautiful things grow in crap"
Let that sink in... Beautiful things grow in crap! Can something truly beautiful come from something awful? Can pain really be the ground for a seed that grows to produce a harvest?
The past 2 years have not been easy, especially being in the stage of life where everyone is having babies, from my best friends to my step mom. No, the past 2 years have not been easy but man, have they been beautiful and fruitful! All those blessings called babies bring more joy than their mommas know! The past 2 years God has taught me that my children are not completely mine but fully His- in that freedom we as a family decided to fully trust God to shape our family!
God took my deepest sadness and replaced it with a heart for adoption! So, Yes, today I am sad for our unborn baby we will never hold! But today, I am also joyful for our unborn baby we will hold right after a courageously amazing birth mom holds them first!
Beautiful things grow in crap.
"He has made everything beautiful in its time." Ecclesiastes 3:11
