It's 12:30 am- perfectly silent with bugs chriping outside, 2 beautiful people snoring beside me! Normally our 4 year old daughter doesn't sleep in our bed but tonight it just happened- it just happened because over the last month our family has been stretched, pulled, pushed, shoved, ripped, and glued back together! From the day we decided to finally make a move where God is calling us to adopt- to make that 3 snoring loves in my bed- we have been in a whirl wind! Those of you who know us know. One day I may share more.
Though the days were long, the month was short and I know I put more miles on my Tahoe than the rest of the year combined- the heart of our family was exposed! Exposed really only to us, a time where we were given the chance to be the family we are always aiming to be- to truly love others in a way that surpassed our own wants!
For the first few years of our marriage and start as a family we were broke to put it nicely- thankfully The Lord always provided, we always had what we needed- though wants were another story! So it was so easy to give when we had so little because there was never anything left to really give! As God continued to bless us- we learned to be more faithful in our giving to Him! Can I be honest, it was always easier to give when we had little because that wasn't a sacrifice that going to break our already broken bank! Usually others were giving to us and we could not be more thankful!
But God does something in you that's amazing when you give beyond what He has called- even in the mist of needing more for what He has called you to do! Jesus is so faithful and I am learning to trust the promise of His faithfulness before I see the blessing! The blessings of genuine friendships, true community, an amazing marriage, and a family love that keeps growing, but the biggest blessing of all is getting to the point where we want Jesus above all else!
In this past month I have wrestled it out with Jesus with tears in my eyes wanting Him to make it clear to me what He was doing! (Most of this was in the many hours I spent driving!)
And though I have quoted this scripture to friends and family- watched a best friend fight like hell with this scripture pressed on her heart and now on the other side tattooed on her wrist- it hit me like a ton of bricks! This is where I find my rest! In this over used scripture, this "band-aid" scripture, this scripture that when it became real, stopped me dead in my tracks!
"The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still" Exd 14:14
So at 12:30 with my husband and 4 year old dead to the world in sleep next to me- I am learning to be still!
